THE IMPORTANCE OF MOTHERS – MRS. D (INSTANCE)
Mrs D. aged 21 years had produced four children in as many years. She was a loving mother but exhausted. She seemed set to follow her mother’s pattern of having 14 children. Several of these children, including herself, had been in the care of the local authority from time to time, a fact that Mrs D. sometimes remembered and sometimes seemed to choose to forget. She decided to try the intrauterine device but it became increasingly evident with each meeting that a tremendous struggle was going on inside her as shown by her complaints about contraception and her feelings about the doctor (female) which were sometimes hostile and sometimes friendly. On the latter occasions she would express great interest and curiosity in family planning work. The doctor then felt like a warm supportive mother. When Mrs D. was hostile, the doctor felt like a baby-hater out to prevent Mrs D. and all other women from having all the babies she and they longed to have.
At one visit, Mrs D. yet again voiced her anxiety about the harm that the intrauterine device was doing to her insides. The doctor decided to take the bull by the horns and told her about the way she made her feel and wondered if this reflected the way she was feeling. Mrs D. then began talking about her mother who made her feel that having babies was a normal, natural thing to do and that they should not be prevented. However, she also knew that her mother had found it very difficult to look after all her children (though this was usually blamed on their father). Admitting all this made her feel she was being critical of her mother and she hated doing it. The doctor said she did not have to be like or unlike her mother, she could be herself. They agreed that it was obvious that she loved her children but knew she did not have endless patience or energy, and that what could be managed with four children could not be with 14. This seemed to free her in some way and there were no further complaints with the coil.
*15/197/1*
