COUPLES’ SEXUAL LIFE AND RELATIONSHIPS
There are other considerations where the meaning of sex in a relationship is concerned. Here’s another case, very different from Rick’s. Arthur, at fifty-seven, had been married for thirty years when his hypertension-related ED brought him and his wife, Elaine, to my office. A very handsome couple, they emanated a feeling of togetherness.
“We’re really distressed at this development,” Arthur began. “We’ve always had a good sex life and, frankly, we miss it.”
Expanding on her husband’s comments, Elaine added, “I have to confess—sex isn’t quite as earthshaking an event for me as it is for Arthur. But I enjoy the togetherness, and I’m distressed to see him so hot bcrcd and unhappy for so long a period of time.”
“Then the thought of a reinvigorated sex life doesn’t bother you,” I asked her.
“Oh no. In fact, I would welcome it. And if reinvigoration means what I think it does, then maybe it will do something for me, too,” she answered with a blush.
Reaching over to hold her hand, Arthur told me, “1 have to say that my own expectations aren’t huge—but I owe it to both of us to do what I can.”
This loving pair showed another dimension of a sex life:
• both partners were content with their pre-ED sex lives, but at different degrees of satisfaction
• friendship was the foundation of their relationship
• one had increased expectations, while the other did not
• they were willing to take the time to make the adjustment required
• they didn’t want to keep things the way they were just because it would be simpler that way
For this couple, the pill was much more than erection insurance. They clearly saw its implications for them. They could now build on what they already had. Because their feelings and trust for each other were so strong, the medication held the promise for even greater connectedness. To them, sex was an extension of their love for each other.
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